Excerpt from The Debutante by Kathleen Tessaro

“We forgive not because it is easy or the right thing to do, but the choice to forgive in itself is powerful. It is an affirmation, a willingness to take life’s terms. And a privilege that no one can take away from you. It’s one of the things that sets you apart and connects you to the divine. Animals can’t forgive. Their victims of what happens to them in life. They can’t make a conscious decision to accept something offensive to them, something adverse and unfair. They can’t decide to integrate it into who they are and move beyond their aversion to it.

You have to swallow it whole…the more you try and hold it arm’s length and be rid of it, the more poisonous it becomes.

And what you’re really holding at arm’s length is life – the realisation that this too is part of life. It’s much easier to swallow it like an oyster. It becomes part of you, you don’t resist it, it makes you stronger.

In forgiving another person, your left with the most difficult bit of all; forgiving yourself. Your angry at yourself for being vulnerable. For not being able to protect yourself.

And then you’ll know what freedom really is. You will have chosen your own life, even in the most difficult of circumstances.”


^^ The most difficult part of all, that there was nothing you could do to protect yourself. It was never your fault.

It wouldn’t be my place to tell anyone to forgive or how to do so. Rather this excerpt by Kathleen Tessaro illuminates the nature of forgiving.  To me at least. It’s hard and sometimes heart breaking to realize the people who should have protected you didn’t.

But my one wish for victims of abuse is that the labels attached don’t become your entire identity. Your MORE than those experiences. Beautiful, vibrant, talented unique individuals with a world of potential.

The power lies in realizing that no matter who hurt you and why, they can never ever in a million years diminish the light in your soul.

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